“With thanks to Writers’ HQ, our supreme writing commanders, glorious leaders and excellent but tiny overlords, who have verily granted us permission to use their splendid and sweary Privacy Policy.” Take a look at their wonderful Privacy Policy HERE.

Thanks to GDPR, we’ve all been inundated with lots of Privacy Policy updates recently. And because I have to do one of these to explain how I comply with the GDPR (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations) because God knows there’s not enough actual interesting things in the world to read, you need to read 1,000 words of legalese nonsense that makes literally not one bit of difference to anyone, ever.

(After reading Zoe York’s Privacy Policy – HERE. And then taking a look at what the Writers’ HQ team had done. It was too perfect to pass up. Again this is used and paraphrased with permission).

The best bit about the GDPR is that all this has to be “concise, transparent, intelligible and easily accessible” so hold on to your hats, motherfuckers, this is going to be the shortest, clearest and best freakin’ privacy policy you ever did see.

TL;DR Version (TL;DR = Too Long;Didn’t Read)

I’m a romance author. I write books about love and relationships and families and food. And the people in the books swear and have sex.

I am a small business. Really, really small. It’s just me and my best friend who acts as my assistant (and gets paid in coffee and food out of love for books). We both have day jobs so we don’t have the time or energy to hunt you down or do anything nefarious with your data.

And while we both have been known to be badass (occassionally) – we’re basically good and honest people – it’s not worth the time, energy or money to do anything crazy like plot to steal your identity. We’d much rather be sitting with margaritas or playing with the grandchildren. Besides prison orange is not our color.

On this website, using built-in tools from WordPress, I collect and store basic information on reader demographics (aggregate information about where you are located, for example, ALL OF YOU, from your IP addresses. I don’t know where any of you are exactly and I’m not going to put in the legwork to find you because I have books to write. I may use a Facebook pixel to collect information that I can use in targeting advertising. If you visit my website, and then later on see one of my books following you around social media, that’s why. (see below about cookies, tracking, etc etc etc)

COOKIES

No not the chocolate chip kind.

Seriously who actually cares? Do you even know what a cookie is or does? Well then. Yes we use cookies because that’s kinda how the Internet works. If you don’t want our cookies, then you need to block cookies on your browser but don’t come crying to us when nothing does what it’s supposed to.

TRACKING

Another part of how the internet works is data tracking. It’s creepy, but effective, and all of us out there in the business world (i.e., me at my table/desk in the corner, whatever), want to deliver targeted information. Basically, in theory, if you come and look at a book on my website, I could use analytics to have that book then follow you all over the interwebs.

I currently don’t use Google Analytics but I might in the future because stats are fun and cool.

Facebook Pixel is just another tool to sell you stuff. But that’s what business are in business for. To sell things and make money. Basically put – Facebook Pixel means that we can see how people interact with our site and with Facebook adverts and then we try to sell you relevant stuff. If you’ve not seen the Facebook Ads analytics dashboard MAN ALIVE it’s stalker central. That shit is a terrifying Black Mirror horror show. If you’re not on Facebook – well bloody done but the pixel is tracking you anyway.

Don’t know if there’s a specific Facebook Pixel blocking thing but we accidentally discovered that if you use Freedom app to block social media while you’re writing it also blocks the FB pixel. Handy hints!

None of these things store any super personal data about you but probably they nab your IP address, not that we’d know where to look for it or what to do with it. All I see is that a person or many people have interacted with the website in a particular way. You could totally mess with me by doing something totally unexpected on the website and skewing the stats. Or you could do something way more fun and useful with your time LIKE WRITING.

DATA STORAGE

It’s all about the data, baby. A literal fuck-tonne of petabytes whirring around the world and what? What’s it all for? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN? What will future historians actually see of us and our slowly collapsing society? So. We store your data in a few different places and use it in a couple of different ways. You ready for this?

Social Media, relatively speaking!

As mentioned elsewhere in this policy, I might use Google or Facebook to track you, but it’s really THEM that have your data; they just connect us through an algorithm. None of this data is personal, identifiable or stored by me.

Mailchimp! Mailerlite! Email Marketing!

If you’ve signed up for any of my newsletters – the general writing one or series specific one, your name and email address wings its way over to Mailchimp or Mailerlite! I usually send out one a month (or every other month depending on life because you know Lifetus Interruptus). I use two different ones to try and keep costs low. One for the series (Mailchimp) and One for my writing/author stuff (Mailerlite). MailChimp and Mailerlite is the system I use to manage my newsletters and emails. They are (allegedly) GDPR compliant. You can unsubscribe from emails at any time by hitting the unsubscribe button at the bottom of any message from me.

MARKETING AND NEWSLETTERS

You have the choice of signing up for my newsletter or not. If you do, I use Mailerlite and Mailchimp, which are both reputable services, to maintain the privacy of your contact information. I promise that I only use this information for the sole and express purposes of pimping my books, recommending books I’ve enjoyed, sharing my book playlists, sharing recipes my picky family has enjoyed, the current craft projects I’m working on (last count was five), my love for my hometown, Detroit or to tell you other interesting tidbits about the publishing industry and my career path. So you get great stories and I get to share some of the things I love besides books.

Mailerlite and Mailchimp automatically adds tracking things to links so when you click on a link it lets me know. Also it lets me know if you open the email or not. I don’t have the time or inclination to do anything nefarious with any of these stats (even though stats are fun and I like seeing them go up).

If you aren’t getting my newsletters, check spam or updates or promo folder on Gmail and add Admin@DanieFordAuthor.com to your address book. I also ask random fun questions in the newsletters to get to know my readers better, if you reply to the email, that helps to train Gmail that you actually want to hear from me.

DELETING AKA GHOSTING

Honestly, the only identifying information I keep on anyone is their name and email address from my newsletter. And you get to choose what you want to see – new releases only, all the happenings or just series specific emails. BUT IF, for ANY reason, you don’t want to get mail from me, no problem. There are other ways you can follow me. If you want to be incognito and want to be deleted, just send me an email at DanieFord.Author@gmail.com and I’ll make sure that you are deleted.

Got it? Understand it? Want one of your own?

Check out the fabulous, funny team at Writers’ HQ. Read their Privacy Policy. Get your Gold Star. And the read the rules about borrowing this for your own site.

This is not legally binding or anything and there’s probably some things I have left out. And I can (and probably will) change this at any time or any date in the future. And since you’re here – Don’t forget to check out my books.